Morning Shift

Life has shifted.

Fall of 2013 has been the first season in his entire life when my son has been consistently getting up on his own in the mornings (and not at 4am as in years gone by) and getting dressed and ready for the day independently. I'm very proud of him.

For me, this has meant a major shift. Mornings are now quiet. Peaceful. And I now have the luxury of getting up on my own schedule rather than being woken by someone else's morning displeasures that continue until they leave the house - and sometimes beyond ;-) 

What a change! And very healing for the body, mind, and soul.

Calm and peace are first on my list in the morning. I often find myself coming out of a dream when I become aware of being awake in the morning, though not always. Sometimes I take a bit of time to remember what I've dreamt about but otherwise I start my exercises by watching the tree branches outside my window.

After a quick washroom break, I clean my teeth (baking soda, water, sometimes coconut oil, sometimes a natural toothpaste), and drink either a glass of plain water or water with baking soda. Then I move into the rest of my morning. My exercise time is for body, mind, and spirit. I meditate, do various stretches, exercise my focus, take time for creative free-flow thought, exercise my breathing, and purposely take time to feel a sense of wonder.

Then I indulge in my first breakfast. I'm a big fan of "smoothies" because I can toss all sorts of good stuff into the blender and drink it down: http://richesofsimplicity.blogspot.ca/2013/11/toss-anything-in.html.

This morning's first breakfast started with a pumpkin smoothie (frozen,/cooked pumpkin, banana, hemp hearts, water, chia seed, dehydrated kale, dehydrated spinach, maple syrup, cinnamon) followed by almonds followed by tomato juice:

My second breakfast was mashed chickpeas (garbanzo beans) that had been soaked (from dried) then cooked, mashed raw garlic mixed in with the chickpeas (a sort of hummus), cucumbers slices, and green tea.

My son is usually up by the time I've had or am having my second breakfast, and then our day together begins.



Death

The next 24-48 hours may be the last for the father of one of my daughter's friends.
I dedicate this post to her.

There's an inner shift that happens when you know that someone close to you, someone
you care for, is dying.

It changes the way you think and feel. And there's a completely different depth to the time
you spend with your loved one.

When Grandpa died, I was already feeling anger because I couldn't afford to visit him in hospital as he was dying and I had nowhere for my son to stay even if I could afford the flight. He was the only grandpa I'd known and I'd had him only through my adult years. When he went into hospital, I was still adjusting to living a low-income lifestyle and dealing with my former husband's seeming hatred. Thankfully, my family made many reassuring phone calls during that time and that sense of unity and support helped heal my anger.  I knew that Parkinson's had been a deep thorn in his flesh. I knew Grandpa had lived a full life and that, throughout the end of that life, he was surrounded by loved ones.

Throughout my teen and adult years, I'd known my mother wasn't well. Heart problems and diabetes were having strong influences on her body. And yet, receiving that phone call that she had died just felt so sudden. I was literally speechless on the phone. I felt crushed. I felt as though the world had stopped and that anything happening outside of the news of my mom's death was happening in slow motion. I was heavily saddened by the news that Mom had been home by herself and had phoned for paramedics by herself and had potentially been alone when she died. And even though I learned the next day that she hadn't, in fact, died alone and that the paramedics had been with her when she died, I still felt heavily saddened that I hadn't been there with her to hold her hand, to caress her face, to kiss her forehead.

When my Nan died, I was with her. I was at the hospital as she was brought in. I was there
while they ran tests. I stayed through those dreadfully long couple of days and nights hoping she'd recover from heart surgery. And then they came and told me she was dying. I sat with her. I softly sang to her. I told her how much I appreciated her in my life and how inspiring she had been in so many ways. I recited Psalms to her that she had taught me as a child. I held her hand, surprised by how the swelling had filled in her hand, puffing it a bit to the point where it now resembled the hand that had held my childhood hand. I was distressed by seeing her tongue resting on her bottom lip under a tube rather than being inside her mouth where it could stay moist and presumably more comfortable. And even though the nurse explained to me that Nan could feel no pain, I was distressed by the single tear that escaped Nan's left eye. What did it mean? Was the nurse mistaken? Was Nan in pain? Or was it, as the nurse had said, simply fluid escaping without any other meaning since Nan was no longer cognizant of anything? Was Nan sad?

Nan's unexpected death was a blow, followed by my son's difficulties in coping with what was going on. He'd had to stay with a respite provider while I was at the hospital with Nan, then he had to learn that Nan had died, then he had to deal with knowing that his family was sad, and that his sister and I would be taking Nan's ashes to another province for her funeral there. He had a lot to deal with and used all sorts of ways to try to figure out how to deal with everything. The day of Nan's service at the local funeral home, we ended up having emergency vehicles at our house shortly after the service, after a nail was stuck into an electrical outlet. It was a difficult time for everyone.

When my Gran was dying, I'd had phone calls while she was in hospital to let me know what was happening. Gran had talked for years about wanting to be with Grandpa. She and I had had many in-depth conversations about our relationship, about life, about thoughts and ideas. I know she wanted
to go. Here's the song I wrote for my Gran:

Before Mom died, I thought I was prepared for her eventual death. I'd known for years that she wasn't well. I sense that maybe that lulled me into some level of non-awareness of my feelings about it. When it happened, I wasn't prepared. I was madly in love with her when I was very young, my preschool legs never carrying me fast enough to run to her when visiting her at work or when she'd come home at the end of the day. Over the years, she'd often caused me to re-examine myself and how I learn from and respond to people and situations. She'd been my cheerleader, my confidante. Did she know that I was aware of and appreciated the gifts she'd given me?

My daughter's friend has had time to journey through this process together with her father. She's a wonderful young woman with a loving family who will have all come together to support each other and will be there for each other during this time. She also has a fantastic group of friends who will circle around her and her family. Many things will have been different for my daughter's friend over the last while since her father's diagnosis. The process of death changes everyone involved. Death changes the living. There will have been those moments when everything seems surreal, and there will have been those moments of intense pain, and all those moments all over the spectrum. She's a strong woman. In time she'll remember that there's also been beauty throughout this process, and she'll continue to gain wisdom as she journeys through this time in her life. May she and her family be beautifully comforted.
 

Almond Pudding, Living with Autism, Train the Brain, Thrift Shop Stained Glass, Red Squirrel

TODAY AT THE THRIFT SHOP
I'm not into consumerism. I believe in reusing, and find no shame (a bit of a thrill, actually!) in finding ways to reuse thrift shop items. For my son, our treks to the thrift shop provide him the opportunity to peruse an abundance of items and maybe even take some of them home with him - most frequently, movies for $1. and board games for $2.  It also allows me to address my son's ongoing clothing needs on bag sale days and replace the numerous items that often need replacing in our home. As an added bonus, we often see a few folks we know there on Saturdays which makes for a nice social outing.  Today's little gem is going to be cleaned up and hung on an old barn door I have on my deck. Yes, that's a $1.00 price tag at the top!

OUTSIDE OUR FRONT WINDOW
Last September, we noticed a small red squirrel in our front yard. This was the first I'd seen in this area and hadn't expected to see much of him/her. I've been pleasantly surprised to discover that he or she seems to appreciate the neighbourhood and seems quite at home in our evergreen trees. This little gift is providing us with much viewing enjoyment. Stayed tuned for apple stories.

INSIDE MY SON'S WORLD
Training the Brain
For children whose brains did not either fully develop in utero or developed differently than "the norm", daily functioning can be an ongoing challenge.  While visual and/or verbal prompts are helpful to many, my son has repeatedly rejected the idea through the years because he often doesn't remember to use the visual prompt and usually doesn't want to have to be reminded.  What's one left to do? Train the brain! My son either takes some quiet time to himself or shifts into brief physical exercise in order to help him focus and train his brain to think about what he needs/needed to do. In addition, there's repetion repetition repetition! Learning by rote is one of the strongest tools my son has been able to use.

TODAY'S BIT OF ART

"Living With Autism"

Acrylics on 20"x20" gallery-wrapped canvas

TODAY'S RECIPE:
Amazing Almond Pudding
This is one of our favourite foods! It's light, made without dairy and without processed sugar, and everything about it is adjustable to your personal tastes. The following makes four just-right servings, about 1/2 cup each.
Ingredients: 1 cup almonds, 2.5 cups water, honey or maple syrup to taste, vanilla (optional), cinnamon (or other spices) to taste, cornstarch
Mmmmmaking it!
1.Toss 1 cup almonds into your blender. Add 2.5 cups of water. Don't forget the lid! Blend on high for a couple of minutes until well-blended then strain the liquid into the top pot of a double-boiler. You can also use a regular pot on the stove, but you'll have to be very careful not to let it burn. (Keep the "almond mash" for future use - cereal topping, add honey to it and just enjoy, etc.)
2. Add melted honey or maple syrup to taste.
3. Sprinkle a bit of spice to taste. We use either cinnamon or a pumpkin pie spice blend.
4. Add about half a teaspoon of vanilla, or to taste. (Optional)
5. Heat the mixture to bubbling, constantly stirring/whisking while thickening with cornstarch blend (about 1.5 Tablespoons cornstarch mixed with 0.5 Tablespoon of water   -    repeat if you prefer a thicker consistency) or whatever you prefer to use as a thickener (tapioca starch doesn't work - we tried!)
6. Pour into ramekins or other small serving dishes. Can be eaten warm or cooled. To keep the pudding from forming a rubbery skin on top, place a small square of foil or parchment paper onto each dish so it is in contact with the entire surface of the pudding. When serving, I often sprinkle a bit of added cinnamon on top and/or a square of Fair Trade chocolate.

Enjoy!